Prayer for Preparation to Study

O God
It is exam time again. And I want to do my best.
I believe that You gave me my mind and the ability to think; and that You gave me my memory and the ability to learn. I am grateful for all I have learned in the past, and I choose to trust You for all I am to learn today.
Open my mind Lord as I read my books and notes. Help me not to be distracted by the other things of life. Keep me from getting into a panic and help me to do justice to all my work and preparations.
O Jesus Christ may this be a worthy time that is faithful to you. I offer this time and prayer in your holy Name. Amen.

Questions and Answers

Johnny Nash is a singer of my youth. Using Bob Marley’s backing band, The Wailers, he gave me infectious reggae melodies that brought some style to my walk. Two of his songs describe my life over the past two weeks.

I have been in the mountains seeking God. I learned from a Buddhist teacher how to sit, and how to breathe, and how to be still. I spend two periods of five days each in silence, with a guided reflection in between the two times of silence. I became aware that my mind seeks distraction so that I can avoid facing the real issues deep inside of me. I found both challenge, and refuge in the silence. I have become quieter and my head has less buzz and chatter.

I am also aware that contemplating God is a bit like the flea describing an elephant. Somewhat brashly I thought that this could be a time of encounter with God and that I could come down from the mountain with clarity. This has proved to be illusive – hence the Johnny Nash song:

There are more questions than answers
Pictures in my mind that will not show
There are more questions than answers
And the more I find out the less I know
Yeah, the more I find out the less I know…..

I do not have answers for all my questions. In fact I have discovered some new questions. There is no shadow of doubt in my mind that God loves me. And that God is to be found wherever I struggle for justice, and work to alleviate human suffering. I do not have the answers for why people suffer, or why we seem to struggle with life, or why George Bush claims to have God on his side.

But at the same time my Creator encountered me. I sat in silence on a snow covered mountain and God came in search of me. I had glimpses of a Call on my life re-affirmed. And I knew moments of absolute trust in God. Above all I return to life convinced that following Jesus is the only way for me to live an authentic life.

Hence the second Johnny Nash song:

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

A Time to Pray

I have run dry…..worn thin……lost momentum.
I have given so much that I have nothing left to give.
So I am going to the mountains.
I will be at Dharmaragiri for the next two weeks.
This is a place of prayer located deep in the Drakensberg Mountains.
I will spend time in silence. And in reading. And in reflection and journalling.
And in walking the mountains.
Pray for me.

Now and then, set aside for yourself a day on which, without hindrance, you can be at leisure to praise God and to make amends for all the praise and thanksgiving you have neglected all the days of your life to render to God for all the good he has done. This will be a day of praising and thanksgiving and a day of jubilation, and you will celebrate the memory of that radiant praise with which you will be jubilant to the Lord for eternity, when you will be satisfied fully by the presence of God, and the glory of the Lord will fill your soul.

- Gertrude the Great
Spiritual Excercises, Quoted in "Essential Monastic Wisdom", by Hugh Feiss.