CRASH

So I had an accident.
I was driving down the road from Groot Constantia in my bakke. Golden-leaved oak trees lined the road, which was glistening in the late afternoon rain. I was feeling in tune with the world around me, when suddenly the City Council truck in front of me stopped. And an indicator came on telling me that it was turning right. I hit the brakes, and felt my bakkie begin to glide. The men in the back of the truck in front of me were gesticulating wildly – as if I had not noticed that they were approaching faster than I wanted. Their eyes wide, they scrambled away from my approaching vehicle, until they were flat against the cab. And I was flat against the tow bar of the truck. When we assessed the damage it was as follows: CC truck - a mild bend in a frame around the towbar. Bakkie: buckled lights, bent front bull bar, smashed bonnet, and dented ego.

The thing that struck me most was the feeling of helplessness. I did not want to go there, but was inexorably carried to the point of collision. And there was nothing I could do about it. Which has a familiar feeling to it. Because I have had moments when my life has felt as if I was carried along by forces around me.
· I felt this when I went to do military service. Decisions were made about my life that took me to places I did not want to go.
· Although I agreed to go wherever I am needed by my current employer, I have felt this when a committee made decisions about my place of work (and residence).
· I live with the knowledge that there are forces in my life that carry me – perhaps to places I do not want to go.

But in hindsight some of these events have not been crashes. They have turned into opportunities of personal growth and great joy. So pray that the inexorable forces that leave me feeling helpless, can evolve into new opportunities for growth and joy.